Planting season is almost here. Whenever a new busy season is about to begin there are feelings of nervousness and anticipation for what’s to come.
As a mom, I anticipate being home alone with the kids every night. I think about the exhaustion and the additional responsibilities. I think about the loneliness and how I’ll miss my husband.
But I also think about the beauty of the season. I think about taking the kids out to the field and watching them dig their little hands in the dirt right next to daddy. I think about the dusty sunset views from the cab of a tractor. I think about how much they’re learning right alongside us.
It may not be easy, but there is beauty in every season.
I’m by no means a seasoned farm wife, but I’ve been through 7 years of busy seasons and a partial long-distance relationship with my farmer husband. I’ve learned a lot through the years and as a mom of two young kiddos. I hope these 5 tips help.
Communication is Key
When I think about frustrations I’ve had in the past surrounding busy seasons on the farm, it almost always connects to poor communication on someone’s part. When everyone is running on E, trying to get stuff done, communication is something that easily falls through the cracks.
One tip I have for keeping good communication with your spouse is to have a time every day where you can connect with each other. For Josh and I, it’s right away in the morning before he heads out the door. Yes, this means waking up at the butt crack of dawn. I wake up and help him make his lunch and this is our time to talk about the day or catch up on things we’ve got on our minds. It’s a consistent time we’re together and really helps us stay connected through the busy seasons.
Depending on your operation this may or may not work out for you. On our farm, we’re very blessed to work with family. My sister-in-laws and our mother-in-law all split field meal duties. So each week, I make an average of 2 field meals.
This is something I ENJOY doing. Don’t force yourself to do it because other farm wives are especially if it’s something that truly doesn’t bring you joy. And not everyone has the time to do it! You might work off the farm, which adds a whole extra challenge. You might have kids who need you. You might live further away from your farm and it doesn’t work out. On top of everything else you’re doing, don’t guilt yourself for not doing things others are. Remind yourself, Everyone’s situation is different.
Not every meal has to be a big homemade production. Some days just aren’t IT. Go to Culvers and grab takeout. Get yourself a milkshake while you’re there. Bring it out to the field and I bet you’ll find smiling faces as they grab that butter burger from the passenger’s seat.
I enjoy making field meals because it helps me feel like I’m part of the operation. I have an excuse to burn some super expensive fuel and drive around with the kids to make deliveries. It gets us out of the house and gives us more time with Josh. We’re also able to feel the progress of the season as it goes on.
Set Manageable Expectations
You are one person. Remember that. It’s okay if your day goes awry and you’re in a state of survival. This is a “practice what I preach moment” because I am well known for setting expectations too high for my days, especially during the busy season. There is so much to do, so many tasks to get done, and a ton of “want to” do items on my list for each day.
I really enjoy taking days to be out in the field with the kids, documenting our life. But when I do that I can’t expect to come home and have everything be perfectly in order. There are only so many hours in a day and you get to choose how you spend them. It’s okay if some areas of your life aren’t perfectly in order. Especially during the busy seasons, we’re pouring much more time into things that only last for a short while. If you set expectations to come home and maybe head right to bed with the kids after a busy day instead of cleaning up your mess of a kitchen, it’s okay.
Remind yourself it’s okay and this is only a season. You have a lot on your plate.
Take time for YOU
In a season where it seems impossible, it’s extremely important for you to take time for yourself
Find a babysitter, ask grandparents or another mom friend who is willing to take your kids so you can have some alone time.
Maybe you simply want to go grocery shopping alone. Maybe you want to go get a pedicure. Maybe you need a NAP or to clean your house without it being terrorized behind you.
My absolute FAVORITE thing to do without the kids is going for a ride in the tractor with Josh. If you’ve done it before you know tractor rides with kids can be less than relaxing. Alone time in the cab with your love can be exactly what your heart needs to recharge during the busy season.
It’s hard to ask for help when you need time for yourself, but I promise it gets easier and you will find it’s worth it.
Don’t Miss the Beauty in the Season
Before long, it will be over. If you dread it, complain, feel constantly negative, it WILL draggggggggg on. If you choose to find the beauty in it and take advantage of all the amazing things happening it will go by much faster, and you will be happier overall.